Friday, February 11, 2011

Happy Jennifer Aniston's Birthday Day you guys!

Welcome to the Humphrey Ker Propaganda Organ: Edition 5. Today's edition is brought to you in association with Nostalgia:


Late as I am to the party, I thought I would add my own limited offerings to the many deserved tributes written to the late Brian Jacques, the man who wrote a series of books that managed to tear me away from Commando comics as a kiddie. As a result of his beautifully constructed world of charming, moving and exciting fantasy, I was able to tame my inherent lust for shooting down German fighter aircraft and suppress my bloodthirstiness to a level that is acceptable in modern day polite society.
The Redwall series, and particularly Redwall, Mossflower, Martin the Warrior and Slamandastron were an absolute obsession of mine as a child. The descriptions of food were always so mouth-wateringly evoked, that I once fell asleep dreaming about them and awoke to discover that I had consumed the boy in the bed next to mine in my school dormitory.

I loved his books so much I intend to call my first born child Cluny the Scourge, irrespective of sex, personality or whether or not they are a villainous one-eyed Rat with a poisoned barb on their tail.

So thank you Brian Jacques. You were a Scouse docker, turned writer and I will always be grateful that you did turn. May you sit at the table of your father in the halls of your ancestors and not feel ashamed.

Anyway, short one today as I am a busy bee.

I also liked Jennifer Aniston a LOT when I was at school. That sort of links all this together.


  1. I once met Brian Jaques, he was a lovely man. And he spelt my name right.

  2. Woo, I used to obsessively organise the Redwall books in order on the shelf of the bookshop where I worked as a teenager. Yeah, rock and ROLL, BITCHES!! (It was not but I am not ashamed.)

  3. I dimly recall a really stereotypically Chinese sparrow, who I used to imitate in public places as a small child until my mother made me stop.
    Ah, the innocent racism of a child.

  4. your obsession with Aniston whilst at school betrays your young age while your writing makes you sound very old and sage and slightly grumpy!

  5. How has one of the great works not been reworked on the big screen. I can understand that as a fan this might fill you with horror, but all the more reason for us write a kick-ass script. Lets make it before someone else fucks it up.

    ps my child will definitely be called Urthstripe the Strong